xquasarx

I -            And from my seat, I stare at you
LOVE -   Because a dreamland of you and me
YOU -     glows in my eyes. If only you'd see.

Last friends is a spring drama currently being aired in Japan. It airs on Fuji TV every Thursdays at 10 pm (Japanese time), and is currently on the 5th episode. The main cast members are (I'm using the last name, first name format):

• Nagasawa Masami as Aida Michiru (Yoshida Rei in Proposal Daisakusen)
• Ueno Juri as Kishimoto Ruka (Noda Megumi in Nodame Cantabile)
• Eita as Mizushima Takeru (Mine Ryuutaro in Nodame Cantabile)
• Mizukawa Asami as Takigawa Eri (Miki Kiyora in Nodame Cantabile)
• Nishikido Ryo as Oikawa Sousuke (Member of J.E. groups: NewS & Kanjani 8)

The opening song of the drama is "Prisoner of Love" by Utada Hikaru. The lyrics is very suggestive and taking a good look at it would be a very good idea. Lyrics in Kanji, Romaji and English here. :)

Synopsis of the drama here. Official site here. You can watch it here. (Though I'd suggest downloading it here as a better option. Kioku ones are the English subbed ones.) :)

About the promotional banner and the opening scene:

As you can see, these are the five main characters  from the show, and they are linked to each other by red strings. It is believed that there exists people destined for each other and they are often believed to be "linked" by the red string of fate. More than that belief, the strings symbolize how each one is connected to one another and what kind of relationship they actually have in the drama, and this can be seen in how the strings are wrapped around the wrists of each person (and body for Michiru's case).

Many more symbolisms can be pointed out from this banner alone such as the way they are lying down, and why Takeru is the only one with his eyes open. As the drama progresses, more and more of these symbolisms come to light as we get a deeper understanding of the story and the people in it.

It can also be noted that this pattern is entirely different from the one being shown in the opening scene of the actual drama. Their positions, the way strings are wrapped around them, and even their clothes differ by just a slight amount.  These, too, hold deeper meanings, to be unraveled within the show.

Similar to the drama's banner, the opening scene holds many clues about the drama. Some notable ones are: 

• Why everyone is walking in the beginning, while only Sousuke stands still.
• The key English words: Love, Liberation, Agony, Solitude and Contradiction.
• Why everyone walks towards the viewer in the end, while Sousuke walks the opposite direction.
• How each member interacts with one another in the short snippets shown.
• Why everyone seems to be wearing pure white, while Sousuke has a black neck tie. (But if you would look closely, Takeru's actually wearing a black belt.)
• The key symbolisms present throughout the show: cups/mugs, keys and mirrors.
  

Just a little bit of info about each character:

Michiru, a hairstylist who was brought up in a broken family, and only has a no-good mother left with her, decides to live with her boyfriend, Sousuke, who works for the government in the child welfare division, only to find out that she'll be a victim of DV (or domestic violence).

Ruka is a potentially great motocross racer and long-time friend of Michiru, who, upon seeing her after four years, begins to relive feelings from the past and uses these to protect her from the abusive Sousuke.

Takeru, a friend and eventually house-mate of Eri, is a hair and make-up stylist by day and bartender at night. because of his gentleness and sensitivity--generally feminine traits--many mistake him for a gay person--a false assumption many people around him have.

Eri is a very cheerful flight attendant who, though extremely friendly and affable, experiences extreme loneliness within herself. She lives with Ruka in what they call, a share house.

Sousuke... I have yet to know him. Basically, he works for the government, inspecting houses everyday to see if there is any form of child abuse present. But, as stated in Michiru's info, he tends to become very possessive and often commits DV.

My take on each character:

MICHIRU
She is a person who has never felt love in her life. Her mother is a drunkard and doesn't care a bit about her daughter unless she (Michiru) gives her money; her father left them way back to escape from debt, and was also quite abusive; and her workplace, though she loves being a hairstylist, the fact that she's bullied there takes a toll on her. When Sousuke starts badly abusing her and setting up irrational prohibitions (such as getting home at a set time and not allowing her to cut men's hair), she tries her best to endure everything for his sake.

Even when she decides to stop living with him, she's still subtly bound by Sousuke's strings. In episode five, she said to Takeru, "I want to stop liking Sousuke, but in the end, I can't do so." I think this is because she believes that she is the only person who can truly change Sousuke. They both possess a similar past, and because of that, she believes she can understand Sousuke's loneliness better than anyone else. She understands his anger. She understands why he is hurting her and why he is being strict on her. She sees this as love--the love that she thought she never had in her entire life; something that was right in front of her all this time, but never noticed. That's why no matter how many times she's been abused by Sousuke, even nearly raped by him, she still chose to be with his side because she knows how lonely Sousuke will get if she left him; the same loneliness she is feeling because of the traumatic past she has had.

But because her eyes only saw sousuke, the lonely person who is similar to her, she neglected to look around her and realize that there are actually a lot of people caring for her. She never saw the real reason of Ruka's earnest attempt of protecting her from the same past she's endured, and instead saw the ruka who was always happy with her family, which she truly envied. Ruka, for her, is someone who has always been there, always been supportive of her and nothing more. Since it has always been that way since high school, she never thought of it as anything more than friendship. She only barely saw the earnest attempt of Eri, Ogurin and especially Takeru, to ease her loneliness by always understanding her and putting her needs ahead of their own.

She is ultimately lonely and this can be seen in what she says. When she got to know Takeru, the first thing she asked him was if he had a nice family. "If a person can make such a good coffee and tea, then he must have come from a good family." When they were in Ruka's house, she truly felt happy and ended up telling Ruka that she has such a nice family. Since she's been neglected as a child, she looks for someone who can be devoted to her and her alone. Among the five... six of them, only Sousuke truly satisfies that. Ruka also satisfies that, but Michiru thinks that she's not that special to ruka because Ruka has her hands full with other things such as motocross.

But aside from that, she just wants to be loved truly by someone. And for her, the only way to achieve this is to have a family of her own. Though she never expressed it bluntly, whenever she sees a good person, she thinks of a happy family, and with this, I assume that she has been longing for a family of her own--which is happy and good. She understands that this is also what Sousuke probably needs in order for him to stop being violent, and so she insists being with him no matter what the odds are.

In her weak facade, you will see a person who earnestly tries to love someone. Unfortunately she's been loving, not the wrong person, but someone who cannot reciprocate her love well enough for others, who truly care for her, to be at ease. Add to that the fact that Ruka has been there with her all this time, through thick and thin, and yet she is oblivious of how Ruka truly feels towards her. She can be brutally selfish at times. What's worse is that she, herself, doesn't notice her own selfishness and the fact that this is hurting other people.

She can be likened to an innocent child looking for a favorable attention from someone she thinks cares about her.

to be continued later...

a feeling of asphyxiation grows within you.
sweat dropping, eyes shifting, palms clasping
        uncertainty.
as IT draws nearer and nearer
to you. to stay with you. to own you.
        panic!
and you struggle to escape IT.
threaten IT? bribe IT away? run away from IT?
      helplessness.
until you realize you are no match against IT. (you never were)
and you succumb to it. you accept it. you own it as your own.
      defeat.
and yet...
and yet in the end, what's gained is
      happiness.

because for every action
there's a hidden motive.
for every motive a will...
for every ounce of will an emotion
  -- that fuels the initiative
      and motivates for the sake of
      the motive.
so are acts of kindness, goodwill,
hatred, despair
as they are among the myriad of actions
a person can do for a myriad of motives
with an indefinite amount of will;
but for an emotion only one and precise.

She glanced up at the stage, and admiringly stared at the three handsome guys singing. Their enchanting voices echoing… resounding every note, sharp and flat in her body. Her focus moved to that young man with curly locks, singing his heart out. She immersed herself in her love’s resonating secret serenade.

“I love you.” She softly whispered with eyes still focused on him, as if she knew that her message was heard by him. “I really do.”

At such instant, Nick looked down at the rightmost seat in the front row, making eye contact with the pretty girl staring at him. He sang, “When you look me in the eyes, you tell me that you love me”, with the most passionate voice he can ever sing with, giving away the lines’ truest meaning to the listeners.

He discreetly moved the microphone from his face, quietly mouthing an “I love you” to his precious one. This was not left uncaught by the fans admiring him, though, and they immediately glanced at where Nick's sweet eyes are intently focused.

Soon claps were heard from fans nearby, cheering for them.

She slowly stood up with her eyes still focused at his’. Lost in their own world, Nick slowly walked at the edge of the stage, while she made her way near him. He kneeled and extended his hand to her, giving her his sweetest smile. She took it with much appreciation… For the first time, the world knew who she was, and what she meant to him.

“Please be mine, Goldie.” He softly told her. “Please be…”

The pretty girl breathed deeply as she held onto her breath, waiting to hear more of his lovely voice. She gasped with much surprise, as she tightly held her blanket close to her.

“It was all a dream.” She sighed as she looked down on the sheets with so much disappointment. “At least for a fleeting moment, I felt like it was real.” She said with a soft smile curved on her face.

“Things will be so better later.” She quickly got up and prepared herself for their concert this afternoon.

***

Goldie patiently waited in line as her imagination ran wild, thinking about possible conversation starters when she finally gives them their gift, Nick’s especially. She held the gift with utmost care, looking at it as if it was the most precious thing on earth.

Her eyes abruptly shifted to her left when she heard other fans screaming their hearts out, saying, “We love you Joe, Kevin, Nick!” and “You guys are awesome!”

She keenly looked at Nick, wishing he would do the same, as she remembered the dream she had last night. As if a fairy godmother heard her wish, he looked at her direction, making eye contact with her, and even giving her a knowing smile—hinting her of something to look forward to.

Is love at first sight even real? He thought to himself the moment he took his glance away from her and looked at the other fans, trying to search for that certain glow from the others that existed only in the girl he smiled at a few moments ago.

“This will definitely be a good afternoon!” Goldie told herself and unknowingly smiled.

 

-End-

I seriously love Kim Jeong-Hoon's (John-Hoon) voice, even though I tremendously hate his acting roles. He is one of the few male singers I know, who can hit high notes without sounding so off for a male singer. (I recommend listening to his version of "Parrot" here.)

KJH recently released his latest album, Boku wa Kimi wo Aishiteru with three main songs: "Boku wa Kimi wo Aishiteru", "The Best of My Life" and "Ready to Go!" It also includes a couple of instumentals but I have no clue about their titles.

So far, the first two songs sound nice. Still in touch with the theme he used in his other album, Sad Song, "Boku wa Kimi wo Aishiteru" speaks of a sad heart and parting ways with a love one.

The second single though, is more upbeat and similar to "Sirius" and "Yamanai Ame". Still, his songs are sung entirely in Japanese like his two previous albums as a solo singer. I would have to say that from Five Stella Lights to Boku wa Kimi wo Aishiteru, his Japanese enunciation and pronunciation has improved a lot. Words are more clearly differentiated in Boku wa Kimi wo Aishiteru unlike the somewhat slurry Japanese in Five Stella Lights. I just wish he had thought of a more creative title to this one. I mean, seriously, having "I love you" as your title is too... common. Besides, it's also too long for a title. ^^;

*'Boku wa Kimi wo Aishiteru' is 'I love you' from a male speaker since the words, 'Boku' and 'Kimi' are only spoken by male Japanese. Female and formal version is the well-known 'Watashi' and 'Anata' for 'I' and 'You', respectively.

Sample songs:

Picture, sample song and information credit to lovewls and myy of kimjunghoonlub. 

she performs in limelight. everyday, she would act... act like nobody's watching; act like nobody cares; act like nobody's there to criticize. oh yes, much much in her own world!

and yet none of them are satisfied. they want a better person; they want a better her. for she... (or what she is), is not enough.

she pleases their will. she searches for a better self--a better her. and yes, she has found a better self. but looking back, she realizes...

she has never felt more lost in her entire life.

oh, the irony
(and no, this is no love poem)

i'm shattered
broken into little pieces
scattered on the floor
where anyone, any person
can, with pleasure, step on...
oh! the little pieces.

i shatter
with every word you say, or
act you do
you.
you alone have the capability
to shtter me.
you control me.

and how ironic
for all these things
see to happen to me, when
I.
i have finally felt
complete.

I always believed that for a certain act to become moral, the circumstance, purpose, and act per se, must be moral too. However, upon watching this movie, I started to believe otherwise.

There is more to the movie, V for Vendetta, than its gory and violent presentation. It showcased one person’s passion and perseverance in trying to deviate from the flow of society’s norms for the betterment of his country. On the other hand, it presented how corrupt and evil one’s government can become if given enough power.

 V tried to change the current system because he knew how controlling the government has become over its people. It isn’t right to instill fear in people in order to gain power over them. Nor is it right to kill innocent lives in an attempt to scare people into the belief that the best decision is to keep the current government since it is capable of keeping them safe. That is deception.

This kind of deception—corruption—is evident in any existing government in the world. They only differ in the level of corruption the certain government has attained. It is quite depressing that the Philippines is victim of quite an alarming level of corruption among government officials. Though, it is a consolation that the kind of deception the Philippine government does is not the kind of deception presented in the movie… Or so we think? The most that the government does, to our knowledge, is keep public funds in their private pockets… That is to say, steal our money.

“People should not be afraid of their governments, government should be afraid of their people.” If only this kind of mentality exists in every human being living in the planet, there would not be any kind of suppression in any form. However, it is undeniably true when I say that Filipinos still, to some extent, believe in this. People Power revolutions and rallies are evidences that people in the Philippines are not afraid to voice out their opinions, even with the threat of being imprisoned or worse, killed.

But then again, the official paper of UP, known for being outspoken regardless of the odds, has reportedly kept quiet for some time. To say that people are not afraid of their governments now, would be some sort of a joke seeing as more and more people are beginning to submit themselves under governmental authority. And so I ask… Why?

“Violence can be used for good… Justice.” V may not have used peaceful means in accomplishing his plan, but one thing is for sure, he succeeded. He successfully persuaded people of his nation to revolt against their corrupt and controlling government. It is my personal belief that what he did is right, regardless of the means. True, it is morally wrong to sacrifice a few in order to benefit the many. But, would you really consider it a sacrifice to kill someone who oppressed and controlled you to such an extent that the consequences are many suffering innocent people? I call this, not a sacrifice, but a form of retribution—justice.

However, I still believe in the peaceful means. The only difference with the situation in the movie is that, their government has taken advantage of the power it has gained, to the extent of abuse. Usually, the just way in reforming immoral people is through the judicial system and the so-called due process. However, how do you reform immoral people if these are the same people implementing the rules and trying criminals in court? This is the case of the movie; people of that nation are helpless because they have become too submissive to the government.

Moreover, it would be nice to see a peaceful revolution to work. Such an example of this is the Edsa People Power I, which is known as a glorious and bloodless revolution. I would like to see that work in our corrupt government right now seeing as attempts of revolting seem to be useless. Even Rizal’s attempt in persuading people to revolt through his seditious novels failed, only leading to his demise. It took Filipinos a few decades before they were able to free the from the control of any colonial country. If only Edsa I would prove feasible in our country, which obviously is not, then there would not be any need for a violent means of revolution. 

 “I wish I believe that was possible. But every time I see this world change, it’s always for the worse.” The thing is with people is that they need to be pushed strongly before they start to act, or worse, before they realize that there must be something wrong with what is happening around them. Such is the case in this movie. If that child had not been shot, nobody would even bother to complain about the twisted government that heads their country.

Though I do admit that the killings V had to do in order to accomplish his plan were immoral, there existed, to my belief, no other feasible and peaceful means of doing it. Robin-hooding is wrong, but the case of V and his country’s government is not curable by mere seditious novels, especially when the Chancellor can have a person killed at any time, for any unjustified reason his twisted mind can come up with.

As for the case of the Philippines, I believe we do not have to resort to extreme measures. Many Filipinos still possess hope within themselves. Many of them still believe that there will be a better future for the Philippines… All we have to do is to act on immoral governmental actions, and wait for the (hopefully good) results.     

Paano ko ba maisusulong ang nasyonalismo bilang isang mag-aaral ng MCHS?

Bago ko masagot ang tanong na 'yan, kailang ko munang sagutin ang tanong na ito. Anu-ano ba ang kailangan gawin para maisulong ang nasyonalismo? Siguro pagkakaroon ng pagmamahal sa bansa at pagiging tapat dito ang kailangan.

Buong pusong pag-aawit ng "Lupang Hinirang" at pag-memorya't pag-bigkas ng "Panatang Makabayan" ay magpapakita na mahal mo ang iyong bansa. Kung hindi ka kuntento dito ay magagawa mo ring bumili ng produktong sariling atin, ipagmalaki ang sariling bansa, gamitin ang sariling wika o bumisita sa sariling bansa. Hindi mo naman kailangang magpaka-Rizal para masabi mo sa sarili na mahal mo ang iyong bansa. Simple lang ito. Kahit sinong tao ay magagawa ito.

Ang pagiging tapat sa bansa ay pwedeng gawin sa pamamagitan ng hindi pagtakwil dito. Pagsisilbi sa sariling mong bansa ay ang maaari mong gawin para matupad ito. Isa pang pwedeng gawin ay ipagtanggol ang sariling bansa sa panahon ng digmaan o kaya ay pagtulong sa kapwa-Pilipinong mga nasugatan habang nakikipagdigmaan.

Gagawin ko ang ilan sa mga sinabi ko. Hindi ko naman kailangan makilahok sa mga digmaan pero pwede naman akong magtrabaho dito kapag ako ay nakapagtapos sa pag-aaral ko.

Sapagkat ako ay estudyante lamang, hindi ko magagawa ang lahat-lahat ng sinabi ko. Ang magagawa ko lang ay gawin ito palagi at kasabay nito ay maging matapat sa paggagawa ng mga ito. Hindi ako makikipag plastikan para lang maipahalata na isinusulong ko ang nasyonalismo. Ang magagawa ko pa ay gawin ito ng buong puso. Hindi yung dahil lang kailangan ito ay gagawin ko ito para hindi ako mapagalitan. Gagawin ko ito dahil mahal ko ang bansa ko.