15 posts tagged “poetry”

a feeling of asphyxiation grows within you.
sweat dropping, eyes shifting, palms clasping
        uncertainty.
as IT draws nearer and nearer
to you. to stay with you. to own you.
        panic!
and you struggle to escape IT.
threaten IT? bribe IT away? run away from IT?
      helplessness.
until you realize you are no match against IT. (you never were)
and you succumb to it. you accept it. you own it as your own.
      defeat.
and yet...
and yet in the end, what's gained is
      happiness.

because for every action
there's a hidden motive.
for every motive a will...
for every ounce of will an emotion
  -- that fuels the initiative
      and motivates for the sake of
      the motive.
so are acts of kindness, goodwill,
hatred, despair
as they are among the myriad of actions
a person can do for a myriad of motives
with an indefinite amount of will;
but for an emotion only one and precise.

she performs in limelight. everyday, she would act... act like nobody's watching; act like nobody cares; act like nobody's there to criticize. oh yes, much much in her own world!

and yet none of them are satisfied. they want a better person; they want a better her. for she... (or what she is), is not enough.

she pleases their will. she searches for a better self--a better her. and yes, she has found a better self. but looking back, she realizes...

she has never felt more lost in her entire life.

oh, the irony
(and no, this is no love poem)

i'm shattered
broken into little pieces
scattered on the floor
where anyone, any person
can, with pleasure, step on...
oh! the little pieces.

i shatter
with every word you say, or
act you do
you.
you alone have the capability
to shtter me.
you control me.

and how ironic
for all these things
see to happen to me, when
I.
i have finally felt
complete.

desires, fantasies
formidable thoughts,
lingering in the head,
the thought...the brain.

each one's impetus,
motivation.
driving force.

things we try to achieve,
to reach...to attain.
only to fulfill the needs-
spiritual and mental
of which can only be fulfilled
by the dream.

And there are times when I wish
I can hide...
and keep all of...
the hurt and the pain
this brings me.

And you ask me.
(or is it really me you ask?)
Why I try
to keep myself as far away
as I can from you.

I leave you no answer and
I stare at you as I
turn my back and leave you
clueless and confused.

I hide and look at
your dumbfounded face.
I stare and wonder at
your anxiety and confusion
as I feel sympathy for you...

And how I wish I
could tell you why
and what and how
and answer all your questions.
How I wish...

For I, myself, am clueless.

how i had wished to find myself.
for i was lost... in my self-created abyss.
i was lost in my own dwelling...
where i hide in fear.

but i think i have found, who
i really am. or so
i think. or so they think.

but why is it that i feel lost, still.
not in my dwelling, but
in myself.

my desperate search for what is real
led me into my own demise.
and i never knew how much i have lost now.
for in the beginning, i realize, i was never lost.

it was them.
them who thought i...
could be better.

them.
them.
them.

and now i wish to find myself,
from them self i have created to
please all of them.
for i have never felt more lost than i am now.

And once again, the sun sets.
We haste for tasks that need be done.
For stressing life's but second nature;
and ignorance--its immediate consequence.

And you have become a slave of ignorance.
Seemingly, stressing life's lured you in and
your every task have been put to priority...
Until you have left me.

So sad as it is to be last.
The list you've made had given me rank.
So sad as it is what work had made you...
forgetful in things you once did.

But is it work or something else?
Better that I've been replaced?
That what used to be seems never-existent;
or everything, have you just forgotten?

What is it with those things?
That you deal with me with such haste.
You've given me home for your own keeping
and throw me in your moldy, dark and dusty attic.

What is it that happened to you?
That you have made me an object for need!
You have forgotten times of before,
I prithee, you won't lose control.

And yet again, the sun sets.
You haste for tasks that need be done...
while I lie still, locked and safely kept
in your moldy, dark and dusty attic.

*revised: Jan 4, 2008

the candlelight fades, darkness grows
chin flat down, eyes focused while
jotting every moment's beauty

passing hours never noticed, still
the queer eye focused, thinking
still lacking quintessence

every word carefully written
describing, defining simplicity and beauty
in all its splendor

the perfectionist, the idealist dreamer
never contented for want of more
still lacking quintessence

The azure reflects the once untouched beauty...
like tall trees that remain standing.
Flowers in blossom scattered in pinks, reds and yellows
--adds beauty to the immense grassy plain,
which is now reduced to rocks.
Today, trees no longer bear much fruit,
and flowerless stems are scattered all around.
Replaced sweet things butterflies fluttered to,
and the beautiful way the sun shines down,
for everything is covered entirely by shadows.